I think there comes a time when everyone has these little revelations. They suddenly see something about themselves that either they want to eradicate because they've suddenly realized how abhorrent a trait it was, or they want to emphasize it more because it is something that could be that much more delightful. You see the situation for what it has always been, even if it didn't seem that way to you at the time. You come to the point where you either have to change it, or it will drive you nuts.
I’ve come to realize through many blatant attempts by others to make obvious, that I have an anger issue. The funny thing about that is when I was growing up I was probably one of the most patient people out there. There was not a lot that could really piss me off. Although I’m sure if you asked my mom she'd comment on how "quiet" I’d get even when things were tense. These days it doesn't seem to take much too really set me off. For instance, this evening I threw a load of laundry into the wash and proceeded to forget about it. When I remembered it was there and went to check on it, it had been removed from the wash and placed on the dryer. There was a new load both in the dryer and in the wash. I was seriously bent out of shape over that. a) reasonably so, I was angry with myself for forgetting my wash in the first place, and b) unreasonably, I was pissed that someone took my clothes out of the wash and when I missed the opportunity to slide my clothes in after their first load was done, but before the second made it into the dryer I was livid. Does it make sense? I don't think so. This evening my daughter told me that I’m scary when I get angry. I had no idea that others felt that way. Now mind you I’m not always angry and when it comes to certain things I am still very patient, but underneath all that there is this hot coal that won't go out. The thing that really got me thinking about it though is I see it in my daughter. The other day she got angry at me for something and I thought it was trivial to get so upset over something like that. Then a few days later I did the exact same thing to Bek. In all honesty it worries me to think I am passing something like that on to my daughter. She doesn't need to start off life with that attitude and I don't think it is really fare to her. This is the point where it has to either change, or drive me nuts. There of course are things I get upset about and I have a solid basis for those feelings, but it's these quick snippets that I need to curb and get under control.
ahhh to be human....
I’ve come to realize through many blatant attempts by others to make obvious, that I have an anger issue. The funny thing about that is when I was growing up I was probably one of the most patient people out there. There was not a lot that could really piss me off. Although I’m sure if you asked my mom she'd comment on how "quiet" I’d get even when things were tense. These days it doesn't seem to take much too really set me off. For instance, this evening I threw a load of laundry into the wash and proceeded to forget about it. When I remembered it was there and went to check on it, it had been removed from the wash and placed on the dryer. There was a new load both in the dryer and in the wash. I was seriously bent out of shape over that. a) reasonably so, I was angry with myself for forgetting my wash in the first place, and b) unreasonably, I was pissed that someone took my clothes out of the wash and when I missed the opportunity to slide my clothes in after their first load was done, but before the second made it into the dryer I was livid. Does it make sense? I don't think so. This evening my daughter told me that I’m scary when I get angry. I had no idea that others felt that way. Now mind you I’m not always angry and when it comes to certain things I am still very patient, but underneath all that there is this hot coal that won't go out. The thing that really got me thinking about it though is I see it in my daughter. The other day she got angry at me for something and I thought it was trivial to get so upset over something like that. Then a few days later I did the exact same thing to Bek. In all honesty it worries me to think I am passing something like that on to my daughter. She doesn't need to start off life with that attitude and I don't think it is really fare to her. This is the point where it has to either change, or drive me nuts. There of course are things I get upset about and I have a solid basis for those feelings, but it's these quick snippets that I need to curb and get under control.
ahhh to be human....
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