Anger Management

I think there comes a time when everyone has these little revelations. They suddenly see something about themselves that either they want to eradicate because they've suddenly realized how abhorrent a trait it was, or they want to emphasize it more because it is something that could be that much more delightful. You see the situation for what it has always been, even if it didn't seem that way to you at the time. You come to the point where you either have to change it, or it will drive you nuts.
I’ve come to realize through many blatant attempts by others to make obvious, that I have an anger issue. The funny thing about that is when I was growing up I was probably one of the most patient people out there. There was not a lot that could really piss me off. Although I’m sure if you asked my mom she'd comment on how "quiet" I’d get even when things were tense. These days it doesn't seem to take much too really set me off. For instance, this evening I threw a load of laundry into the wash and proceeded to forget about it. When I remembered it was there and went to check on it, it had been removed from the wash and placed on the dryer. There was a new load both in the dryer and in the wash. I was seriously bent out of shape over that. a) reasonably so, I was angry with myself for forgetting my wash in the first place, and b) unreasonably, I was pissed that someone took my clothes out of the wash and when I missed the opportunity to slide my clothes in after their first load was done, but before the second made it into the dryer I was livid. Does it make sense? I don't think so. This evening my daughter told me that I’m scary when I get angry. I had no idea that others felt that way. Now mind you I’m not always angry and when it comes to certain things I am still very patient, but underneath all that there is this hot coal that won't go out. The thing that really got me thinking about it though is I see it in my daughter. The other day she got angry at me for something and I thought it was trivial to get so upset over something like that. Then a few days later I did the exact same thing to Bek. In all honesty it worries me to think I am passing something like that on to my daughter. She doesn't need to start off life with that attitude and I don't think it is really fare to her. This is the point where it has to either change, or drive me nuts. There of course are things I get upset about and I have a solid basis for those feelings, but it's these quick snippets that I need to curb and get under control.
ahhh to be human....

Pan's Labyrinth

Watching Pan's Labyrinth has brought back all my feelings on how affective foreign films are. With my interests leaning far more to the fantasy side, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about the movie having so much reality in it. Of course the story wouldn't have been a story at all without it, and I loved how well they blended fantasy with reality while at the same time managing to keep them in their seperate worlds. I personally find foreign films are a lot more emotional. There is a feeling of gritty reality that pulls you into the story more. There aren't a lot of cliche's and they seem so much more fresh. This movie being no exception. I was sympathizing with the girl from the start and rooting for her to get out of the reality she was living and find her dream. Definitely a movie for my collection!!

Official YET?!?

TAMMIE AND SIERRA
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I've finally finished my probation and I still have my job (guess they really DO like me... ). As of Monday January 23rd I have been an employee of the sheet metal workers union for 3 months. More specifically Dilfo Mechanical, and I hope I stay with them throughout my apprenticeship. I am now awaiting the MCA to get a hold of me so that we can get this business of a contract over with. Then I'll officially be an apprentice! Now honestly did you think I'd make it this far? I should watch what I say though. Might jinx myself in some way....

bek is moving into the building tomorrow. Am looking forward to having a friend close by. Back in 1999 I lived in the same building as a friend as well and we survived it. We both then and now are/where single mom's so there are a lot of things we can do to help each other out when so close. On the same note, we DO have a floor and two dead bolt doors between us if we feel we need them, lol. Also next September Tammie will have a little companion to go to school with. I'm sure Sierra will love having Tammie by her side more.

My brother was in a car accident last weekend. I believe they hit black ice and ended up totalling the truck they were in. He was wearing his seatbelt and his friend was not. They both walked away from the accident physically sound, but badly shaken up. Having something like that happen gives you a different perspective on life. I'm thankful my brother is here to tell the tale.

Wonder Woman!!!!

Ok so it turns out I'm not the powerhouse I thought I was. I am however quite confident that in no time I will reach maximum overdrive and get my superhero status and begin saving the world, one commercial building at a time. I went out to site last week and we had to unload a truck full of garbage shoots. They were in pieces between 4' and I'd say 10'. I helped get the first piece off the truck and went to grab it to carry it to the designated spot and realized I didn't have a good hold on it for the terrain we were about to traverse. So I put my end down to regrab and ended up unknowingly passing the piece on to Carl. Mario and Carl picked the piece up like tissue paper and off they went. Ok that is an exaggeration on my part, but compared to how useless I felt at that moment it very well should have been tissue paper in my mind. So on the way back to the shop I thought about how much further in body strength I really need to go. It was an awakening. THAT'S IT I QUIT!!!!

Ha, almost got you didn't I? Well you don't get rid of me that easily. All it means is... I've now had the heads up on part of what I have to look forward to and will have the opportunitly now to prepare for it. ie gain some serious muscle mass!! (and no, not like in the pic....... lol)

So I was going through the day with different things on my mind. I had at this point been left on my own for well over an hour to finish up the insulating I was doing. As I was going through calculations in my mind, I started thinking about different things and once again caught myself singing a phrase of a song out loud like a broken record. Believe me, I'm not the only broken record in that shop! I am however the only one who doesn't tend to sing at the top of my lungs.... So there I was singing the same verse over and then I started talking to myself about the calculations I was doing. Always easier to think out loud I say. 7 duct, 2 pieces per duct, 46" in height, and 10"x14" in length and width..... so I need 14 pieces cut on the 47" insulation... blah blah blah.... man is it hot in here... blah blah blah... wow does Mike ever mutter a lot to himself when he's working.... blah blah blah.... glad I'm not a mutterer.... (lol)

Claude is very good to me. When he is doing something new, he takes the time to show me what it is he's doing and what the end product will be used for. Of course sometimes when he's explaining these things he goes off into calculations I have yet to understand, but I am patient and just very glad that he is taking the time to inform me. It's always good to have someone take a true interest in your learning process.

As I finished up the insulation I realized I must have gone through a quarter of a roll of toilette paper. Insulation makes my nose go nuts. What I need is a hanky. Like the one my grandpa Maloney used to carry around in his back pocket. Some dark coloured bandanna that I can pull out throughout the day and just honk into!!! Well I thought it was cute in a grandpa sort of way to see that he had one, but now that I think about what I'd actually be carrying around in my pocket in quantities, not so sure it's me.... Actually dna tests would prove it in fact IS me, or bits of, hahahaha......................... yeah.........................

I heard a story today that I thought was a bit sad in many ways. Apparently a man had gone to New York City whether to visit or move, not sure, and he got lost. Having not been to the city before and hearing from people that he knew that New Yorkers were unfriendly and even brash if asked anything, he didn't ask for help. He ended up wandering the streets for five days in the cold. Finally on the fifth day someone saw him and asked if he was ok and ended up feeding him and giving him water. A New Yorker being helpful. I admit New York seems intimidating given how big it is, but I think in any city there are those that would help and those that would want to kick your ass for so much as breathing in their direction. His experience was unfortunate and thankfully he's ok.

SCREEEEEEE!!!

Now I know where they get the sound effects for movie monsters or dinosaurs! Cutting metal!! The sounds of metal being cut is tense! Most of what we do can be done by non bladed machines. The metal is cut out by a plasma machine, then bent, folded and otherwise manipulated by various other machines that don't usually require cutting it down any further. Last week Kirby and I were hard at work when the worst nails across chalk board sound came from the back of the shop. The first thing I thought of was the T Rex running after Ellie, Malcolm and Robert on Jurassic Park. The part where he get's really close to the jeep and opens his mouth up really wide and roars at them. After a few minutes of images of a T-Rex tearing through the shop going through my head, it suddenly changed. In it's place was a gigantic drill going to town on some poor souls teeth. That made me cringe. For I had a dental appointment only a few days later (which by the way I got through with flying colours, and the terms root and canal never came up!!). So there I was trying to make duct with images of teeth, slobber, and a large drill going through my mind. I was glad when break came along and I could then stare down at my sugar coated muffin.... Survived my first night of class. Am taking basic math, which is rather mickey mouse. Apparently hilariously so, because there are to BOYS, in the class that decided giggling and whispering their way through the evening was the way to go. 11 people were signed up for the class, only 6 including myself showed up that evening. We're off to a great start! Oh and if they giggle next week, I'll be sure to bring some lego or army men and see if they want to play too!!! That or suggest they get a bigger bong, that way they'll be so far beyond giggling it won't disrupt class. Ohhhh Liz is getting tempermental! Well I'm not at the point of cursing and kicking unco-operative duct work around yet. I just get it done, place it on the pile where I won't see it for the rest of the day and occasionally glare in the general direction of that job. I do however do a little dance when one of my fingers get's too close to the hammer. The worst thing I find however is vibrations. I'm not sure if it's the metal causing vibrations, but when I hit the duct and the vibrations hit one of my nerves just right, it's worse than the funny bone!

Running off on a tangent now, taking Monday evening classes gives me the perfect opportunity to visit my dad. He teaches in the Tech wing and finishes up at 5, so we can have a nice sit down and catch up. I don't think I've seen him since early summer late spring. So hopefully we'll have a lot to talk about.

Ok you know Dusty. The cat of many talents. Well I've discovered that he apparently knows when we come home. My daughter told me yesterday that as soon as I start to open the door to the building we live in, he get's up from where ever he is and runs to meet me. I had actually been wondering how my daughter knew it was me, since she always seemed to be right there when I walked in. I guess Dusty is the reason behind that. She follows his que's. I had actually heard of that ability in dogs, but had never heard it about cats. I'm certainly glad that he has talents that serve him well, and that aren't disruptful to the homestead. There are some evil felines out in the world.